Having a Mentor, or Not Having a Mentor. That Is the Question! by Becca M.


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Why in the world would someone need a spiritual mentor? Well, that is a very good question! To answer that question, I would venture to say it’s because we all need a human to lead the way for us and someone to turn to when we face life’s different storms. But what is a mentor exactly? For me, it is someone slightly older (preferably a woman if you are a girl) who has been there and done that! It is also a person who is deeply grounded in their faith and to whom you can turn to for advice when needed. Both parties should have peace about it after spending time in prayer. Finding mine was as clear as deciding to take a breath.

The person you choose for this role should be of deep integrity and have a desire to listen to you and help you through life. I believe that being mentored should be a lifelong commitment if possible. Before you do anything, you should build  a friendship with the person and pray about asking her to be your mentor. You should also be able to share anything – yes anything – with your mentor without being judged. If you make bad choices along the way, your mentor should try to help put you back on track with Christ’s love and forgiveness.

I personally wish I could have had a mentor even earlier than I did, and I think I had mine at 16! It’s never too early to have Godly influences in your life. I have two mentors now; one is French, since I was born and live in France, and my second one is American (being half American, it seemed logical to have one from there too!).

I have shared with these beautiful women of God more than anyone else, even my family. They have helped me through so many difficult times. I have laughed and cried with them and I can recall many deep talks around coffee or tea at my French mentor’s appartment. One of the most beautiful moments with my new American one was praying together on my pastor’s backyard swing last summer. Let me tell you, our prayers flew very high that day!

Now, I see my American mentor about once a year and that is hard, but we keep in touch the best we can! She took time for me even in the middle of her wedding preparations.

I love my mentors so much for so many reasons but the biggest one is they always point me back to our ultimate example to follow: CHRIST.

So if you do decide to look for a good and Godly mentor, I am confident it will bring many blessings your way. BUT always remember the best MENTOR ever is our loving Savior.


5 thoughts on “Having a Mentor, or Not Having a Mentor. That Is the Question! by Becca M.

  1. Thanks for addressing this! I’ve actually been thinking about this issue lately, so this was timely! So my question is…is it weird to go to someone and “ask them to be your mentor”, or should it just happen? I just think of my mom, and she would probably feel burdened if someone asked her to be her mentor, but if they asked to meet with her once a week, she’d feel different. She, in a way, is my mentor, and I’m thankful for that…but just wondering, as I go to college, if anyone has any ideas of how to go about this?? Thanks!

    • I’ll pass this along to Becca, the author of this article, but I think your second idea is a good one. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with stating your intent and using the word “mentor,” but it would probably be a good idea to clarify that you just want to meet once a week or every other week, so as to remove any burdens that person might feel.

      When choosing someone, I think you should of course pray about it and make sure that person is a strong Christian. I would also pick someone who is already a leader in your church or Christian ministry because, if they have already accepted a position of leadership, mentoring and discipleship is something that comes naturally with that role. I’m sure whoever you asked would feel really honored and gladly want to be a mentor to you! 🙂

  2. Hi Claire!
    Thank you for your question , I don’t think it’s weird at all, that’s what I did with mine but there is also a part that” just happens” as you feel peace that you’re asking the right person!!My French one is someone who has known me since I was like 6 and we were great friends even with the age difference!I asked her one day at like 16 and she sad yes.I also asked an amazing lady I know from TX, she is kind of like my “laid back Mentor” but is very busy right now , so I’m not sure where this will go actually. but there is also a part that” just happens” as you feel peace that you’re asking the right person!
    So pray that God will show you a older Godly woman of deep integrity to God willing be your Mentor!Someone you already have a friendship with if possible!
    Then keep your eyes open for that person and ask her when you feel peace about it!Then see what happens and what she says!

    I’m sure your Mom would be a great Mentor, although I would advise having a Mentor outside of your family , to make the counseling part easier!

    Will pray you find a great Mentor soon!:)Write again if you have any other questions!

  3. Claire,
    I’m so glad , a Mentor is such a sweet blessing in both good and bad seasons of life.
    Please do keep me updated on your Mentor search!:)

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