“You know, I think it’s pointless to date right now anyways. It doesn’t make any sense. Besides, I want my first kiss to be when I get married.”
I looked at the girl sitting across from me on the faux-hardwood floor. My face broke into a smile. “I totally agree. Dating now is just practice for divorce.”
This was just one of several deep conversations about guys I had with my three best friends that night. We were camped out on the floor of Friend Number One’s room, surrounded by blankets, Mountain Dew, and several cans of Multi Grain Creamy Ranch Pringles.
As I sat there, I thought back to another conversation I had with another best friend. It was the end of my seventh grade year. “My sister Allison is nineteen and she’s never been kissed! Can you imagine that?”
“Are you serious?” another girl asked.
My face grew hot. I didn’t intend to be kissed until I was far older that nineteen. I never thought that would be looked down upon.
My parents have always had very clear boundaries on dating and guys: no dating, but you can court when you’re ready to get married. I’ve always respected them for that and agreed with it. I think that’s been one of the defining things in my life. Because I’ve known that I can’t date, I don’t look at guys as someone who can satisfy the loneliness in my heart.
So many girls don’t realize that they don’t need a guy in their lives; that they will never need a guy. One of my youth pastor’s recently said about his fiance, “She decided that she didn’t need me, she only needs Jesus, and that’s one of the reasons I love her so much. She stands out everywhere she goes because she doesn’t need people. Jesus is enough.”
Hearing that, I wanted to be like her. It never bothers me that I don’t have a boyfriend, but I’ve ever thought of not needing someone. I’ve always thought that at some point in my life, the right guy would ride into the picture, sweep me off my feet, and we would live happily ever after. He would be my everything.
That’s not biblical, and neither is it healthy. I have a friend who’s very wrapped up in her boyfriend – in fact, she used to be one of my closest friends before he came into the picture. When they started going out, she pushed me away, wanting to spend all her time with him.
That’s not healthy.
I think that’s so crucial among girls my age. Many girls don’t know how to just be friends with a boy, and they assume that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t have a boyfriend. That is completely untrue.
At the risk of sounding cliché, Jesus should be enough. Yes, we all want a guy to tell us that we’re beautiful; we all want to be wanted. We are all wanted, by Jesus: more than enough.
Written by Katie